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Thursday, May 14, 2015

Joy In The Wasteland

It's been a really long time since I've posted.  You know, life . . . .

This is going to be a rambling post.  I just need to work through my feelings and find a way to cope and heal.  Writing it all down kinda helps.

I got laid off, I took a job in Minnesota to be close to the love of my life.  I hated my job, I got really sick.  I was depressed, didn't have any money and felt all alone.  I worried about my 5 year old.  I packed up and moved back to Arkansas.  I was so rash.  I quit my job, I said mean things to my best friend, the man I hope to marry.

I apologized.  I then became absorbed in helping my uncle pack up his business.  One that I had worked at.  That was extremely hard.  Both physically and emotionally.  I came home and would feel the crushing weight of loss.  I was so lonely.

I've been praying through it all.  I've sought solace in God's love and grace.

I know I'm rambling.  Sorry.

I was hanging out on Pinterest and I stumbled upon the blog Arabaj Joy.  Arabaj means wasteland. Taken from her blog:

"Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.  The wasteland (the Arabaj) will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.  Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy!  The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon, as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.  There the Lord will display His glory, the splendor of out God."

We can have joy in the wasteland.

I read her post How To Live Loved and following different links I came to a post about praising God in our pain.  How God wants us to fully rely on Him, to have faith in his plan.

So, I still cry at the drop of a hat.  I long to talk with my love like we used to.  I pray, I hope, I thank God and praise him in my wasteland.

African Sweetheart
If you have a prayer need, I would love to pray for you.  Let me know in the comment.


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